INT. SERENA’S CAR (DRIVING) - NIGHT
STAN
I think I am the Antichrist.
SERENA
No you’re not.
STAN
Everything I do turns out for the worst. I’m only good at fucking things up.
Serena slaps him.
SERENA
I hate self pity. Keep that in mind.
STAN
Sorry, but growing up, that’s all I heard. I would get in trouble, and my old man would scream at me for hours. The guy thought that if you didn’t love the Lord, you weren’t worth shit.
SERENA
At least you got out to get into trouble. My parents had me under house arrest most of my life thinking it would keep me safe.
STAN/SERENA
(shaking heads)
Fucking family.
INT. SERENA’S APARTMENT - NIGHT
Stan ENTERS the apartment, out of breath.
SERENA
Elevator’s been out since May, but stairs are great for the glutes.
Stan lays on her couch. He checks out the apartment: Extreme Sports DVDs. Posters of nu-metal bands. A skate board. A pair of handcuffs. Fireworks. A care bear in a noose.
STAN
Your place is...cool.
Serena enters the kitchen and opens the fridge.
SERENA
Thanks. You want any water before--
Stan has fallen asleep on the couch. His belly protrudes from under his shirt. Serena grabs a beer.
SERENA
If the world could see him now. Antichrist my ass.
MORNING
Stan sleeps on the edge of the sofa. Serena shakes him, holding a pair of binoculars.
SERENA
Stan, wake up.
STAN
No.
SERENA
Come on, you need to see this.
STAN
Naaa I don’t.
Serena punches Stan in the gut.
STAN
I’m up!
Serena grabs Stan’s hand and drags him out the door.
ROOFTOP
Stan and Serena stand at the roof’s edge. The view shows people for miles around marching towards one location.
STAN
I can see my house from here.
SERENA
Oh, you mean the one surrounded by a torch-wielding mob?
Serena hands Stan the binoculars.
OUTSIDE STAN’S HOUSE
The old protestors are still there. New Huckle-beings from all over the world have joined them. Omber stands between Stan’s door and the mob. He yells at the house.
OMBER
Show yourself, vile demon. Surrender yourself, or prepare for destruction!
INDIAN ZEALOT
You sure he’s there?
OMBER
He got out of jail, where else would he be?
(to the house)
If you come out, we promise you a fair trial before burning you at the stake. How does that sound?
JAPANESE ZEALOT
Maybe we should knock?
ROOFTOP
STAN
The United Nations of crazy are after me now. Great.
SERENA
(excited)
Man, you have to be someone dangerous to get so many different people wanting you dead.
STAN
Fuck! I can’t even go home!
(to the Heavens)
You win. I give up! I’ll just jump off this roof now!
SERENA
Stop it. We need to get you somewhere safe.
STAN
(re: mob)
Please, do tell me where I can go where that won’t get me.
Serena runs to the stairs.
SERENA
Follow!
INT. SERENA’S CAR (DRIVING) - DAY
Serena slowly drives against the grain of people. She honks to get people to move. Some zealots yell and hit her car. Stan peaks his head up from under a blanket in the back.
STAN
Where are we going?
SERENA
Get down and stay still!
STAN
It’s dirty down here.
SERENA
Better than out there.
Stan peaks over the window, and sees the mobs carrying effigies of himself. Stan ducks back down and grabs Serena’s cell phone from the passenger seat. He dials.
STAN
I need to call Laura.
SERENA
Who’s Laura?!
STAN
My sister.
INT. SOUP KITCHEN - DAY
INTERCUT PHONE CONVERSATION
Laura dolls out soup to the homeless. She picks up her cell phone on the second ring.
LAURA
Hello?
STAN
Laura, they’re all trying to kill me!
LAURA
Stan, I can’t--
Stan peaks out the window again, seeing different religious groups carrying nooses and clubs.
STAN
They have machetes and pitchforks! Please sis!
Laura drops her ladel and motions a young woman to replace her as she walks back into the kitchen.
LAURA
Stan...when Hucklebee collapsed, you showed no signs of concerns.
STAN
So? He wasn’t my life guru!
LAURA
When the priest died, you didn’t mutter a word of sympathy.
STAN
It’s not my fault he was a lecherous old--
LAURA
--He was a person, Stan! When someone suffers or dies, it’s human to show compassion! You have none! How am I supposed to believe you’re not the Antichrist when the only person you ever show any concern for is yourself?
Stan is stopped cold. He slumps back down behind the seat.
STAN
(sincerely)
I’m...sorry Laura...for bothering you.
LAURA
Stan--
Stan hangs up and throws the phone onto Serena’s seat.
SERENA
Not getting along with the sibling?
STAN
Not really.
SERENA
Been there, about to do that.
EXT. ALABAMA NATIONAL GUARD BASE - DAY
Serena’s car drives up to the gated entrance. A young, studious GUARD addresses her.
SERENA
Here to see Lieutenant Mitchell Sherman.
GUARD
Do you have an appointment?
SERENA
I’m his sister. It’s an emergency.
GUARD
Do you have any ident--
SERENA
Damn it, soldier! People will die if I don’t get in to see my brother in the next two minutes! Do you want that on your conscience?
GUARD
Identification...please.
Serena gets out her license and shows the Guard. He opens the gate and Serena plows in.
INSIDE BASE
Serena parks her car next to a building.
SERENA
Just stay in the car til I talk to my brother. He’s never been a big fan of the guys I’ve hung out with.
MITCHELL SHERMAN, 36, strong and stern, exits the building.
MITCHELL
Sis? What are you doing here?
SERENA
Hey bro, kinda needed to talk to you about something.
MITCHELL
What, you and your punk friends vandalize the postal workers this time? You in some kind of trouble?
SERENA
No, no, but a friend of mine is.
MITCHELL
Friend? What friend?
Stan peaks his head out the car window and waves.
STAN
Hi.
MITCHELL
Shit.
STAN
I’m--
MITCHELL
--all over the news. Evil incarnate. Shit! Sis, you and your god-damn friends!
Mitchell angrily enters the building. Serena waves Stan to follow. Stan and Serena enter the building. Behind a building, a HUCKLE-CROSS-WEARING GUARD spots them. He takes out a phone.
HUCKLE-CROSS-WEARING GUARD
Send word to Reverend Grayson. The Antichrist is here. I repeat, the Antichrist is in the base!
EXT. STAN LUTHER’S HOUSE - DAY
A zealot whispers in Omber’s ear.
OMBER
He’s at the National Guard base! Let’s go!
The mobs get into their cars. All the cars putter and choke. Beezy runs through the background, laughing victoriously.
OMBER
On foot! We’ll march!
EXT. SOUP KITCHEN - DAY
Laura leaves the Kitchen as the mob marches past. A hyper-vigilante fanatic sees Laura with the cross around her neck.
VIGILANTE FANATIC
Hey good Christian, we’ve found where the Stan Luther is! Going to help us burn him?
LAURA
No! That’s not what Jesus would do.
VIGILANTE FANATIC
He’s the Antichrist! Jesus would lead the charge!
The fanatic returns to the mob. Laura watches, distressed.
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